Tell Me I’m Not the Only One Who Cries In the Shower

There are days I’ve had enough. I’m grouchy, irritable, tired of little ones hanging on me and calling my name “mom,mom,mom,” the sounds play in my head all day long like background music. My only escape is the shower. I’m alone! I can form a cohesive thought!  I can relax! I can let go! I can cry…

Sometimes I have this heaviness I carry around with me.  A certain sadness I can’t put my finger on.  I try to reason with myself, try to figure out what could be causing these feelings of melancholy, but I come up empty-handed.  I have no one to tell this too.  I might sound too pessimistic, too negative.  I need to buck up and deal with it.  What would people think?  I put on a happy face, a smile, carry a cheerful disposition, but some days it really is a farce.  Is it hormones?  Is it because the baby can’t decide if he’s done nursing or not?  Is is the dark, dreary, winter weather?  Is it just me, part of who I am?  More importantly, how do I remedy my situation?  I wish I had answers to share, yet I have none.

I decide to open up to my husband.  He is quiet, but he listens.  He hugs me tight without saying a word.  I feel better just talking, letting my words fly into the wind.  I feel better, lighter somehow.  I go to sleep tonight knowing tomorrow will be a brighter day.

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