Month: May 2014

We Are Breaking Up

It’s not you, it’s me.  I just don’t have time to give you any more of me.  Our relationship has been tense for weeks.  I’ve been ignoring you, playing hard to get, not checking in.  I had such high hopes in the beginning, then real life reared its ugly head. I’ll spare you the gory details, but suffice it to say I have been bogged down and my mind, sadly, has been elsewhere.

NaBloPoMo, I’m talking to you.  As much as I love (and need) daily motivation to sit and write, I just can’t keep up the pace.  I need to focus on paying gigs now.  As much as I love you, you’re not really bringing home the grass-fed beef.  (That stuff is insanely expensive.)

I will always think of you fondly and maybe in another place and time we can come back together again in harmony.  Just not this month or the month after that.  Maybe never…

Au revoir,

XOXO

The Significance of a White Duck

Sometimes I feel like

I can’t breathe

here,

in this prison

I’ve built around myself.

Then this;

seven white ducks

waddle into my yard,

dance around my feet,

snapping their bright orange bills,

searching,

like me,

for something more.

Some Happy For Your Mommy Brain

These days are hard. School is wrapping up, we are being pulled a million different directions, we never seem to slow down. We just can’t, there’s simply too much to do. I’m asking you to take five minutes for yourself today. Write down five affirmations that inspire you and ignite your spirit, bring you peace and put a smile on your face. Print them out and hang them somewhere you will see them everyday. Repeat your list until you believe it.

I feel more positive and ready to face the day when I give myself this little pep talk, as hokey as it may seem, it works. I listed the first five things that came to mind. I chose the opposite of all the things I usually berate myself for, e.g. I’m old, everyone else has better luck than me, my body isn’t bouncing back like it used to.

Positive Affirmations

~ I am young

~ I am healthy

~ I am strong

~ I am beautiful

~ I am blessed

Use my list or make your own, but give it a try. You just might surprise yourself!

What I Do When I’m Lost

Jesus said, “My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me.” John 10:27

I’ve needed guidance lately. As a mother, some days I think I’ve got all the answers, I’m doing the right things, my world is chugging along at just the right pace, but then there are those days. Days I don’t know which way is up, whether to say yes or no, what to do about anything. On those days I pray. I give thanks for my many blessings, then I pray for guidance, for a sign to lead me in the right direction. My simple prayer goes a little something like this:

God, I’m struggling with what to do about (this is between me and God y’all) and I need your help. Please guide me in the direction I need to be headed. Lead me to the path and I will follow. I need a sign, loud and clear, to know what my decision should be. I’m your humble sheep, but I’m a humble sheep who wears glasses, so make your sign a big one.  Amen

I’m still waiting for my sign. But it’s coming. I just know it.

Are You A Real Writer?

Photo: Latteda

Photo: Latteda

I want to be taken seriously as a writer.

Can someone please tell me what the gold standard is?

What constitutes a real writer?

~ Writing everyday?

~ Being published? How many times?

~ Being rejected? How many times?

~ Having published an article, an essay, a poem, a blog post, a short story, a chapbook, an op-ed, a memoir, a novel, a best seller, a haiku?

~ Belonging to writers associations?

~ Subscribing to writing publications? Attending conferences?

~ Simply referring to yourself as a writer?

I’m quite fond of that last one.

I’m a writer.

Please Stop Inviting Us

I don’t know about you, but I clench my teeth when my daughter happily announces she’s been invited to so and so’s birthday party. Great. A kid from her class I know nothing about, I don’t know her parents at all and I have to spend way too much money and cart my child around on a day I’d rather be relaxing with my family. I’m no grouch. I enjoy parties, once in a while. But when we hit four parties in a six-week time frame, I’d had enough balloons and cake and happy.

“Yeah! A birthday party!” I try to sound enthused. My daughter is not buying it. I, however, have found a great way to ease birthday party present giving anxiety. What do you buy for the child your own child barely knows? Head to Target’s dollar section baby. You know that section at the front of the store piled high with lots of colorful, plastic stuff? The aisles your kids can’t walk by without running into things because they can’t stop staring at all that stuff? Well, maybe it’s just us.

Regardless, buy a cute little reusable tote bag. Hello Kitty is usually in heavy rotation this time of year, along with Angry Birds, if that’s more your speed. Let your child fill the bag with lots of goodies for the lucky birthday girl or boy. Coloring pads, mini dry erase boards, scented markers, princess wands, toy trucks, bubbles, stickers and on and on. My oldest daughter gave this gift to a friend not too long ago. The birthday girl later said it was her favorite gift and her Mom emailed me twice (twice!) to thank me and tell me her daughter took her bag of goodies with her everywhere. I wasn’t expecting such a warm reception, but I was so happy! Our little present was so well received I’ve decided it’s my go to gift from now on.

It’s a win-win really. Your shopping trip is quick and painless, your child feels like they are in charge of the gift and it doesn’t cost a ton of money! (Unless of course you venture off course and instead of heading straight to the checkout line, you decide to grab a gallon of milk and maybe a birthday card, and ooh look at that….)

If you’ve ever stepped foot in a Target store, you know where I’m headed with this.

I Am So Much Bigger Than The Life I Am Living

Some days they are just so many things I want to do, places I want to see, people I want to meet, knowledge I long to know, sides of myself I’d like to explore, art I want to create, food I want to savor, love I yearn to make, drafts I’d like to finish, rooms I want to clean, prayers I need to say, ideas I’d love to share, children I wish to shape, money I want to make, and time I’d like to have.

I am so much bigger than the life I am living. I’m bursting at the seams to go and do and become. As a mother, these needs and desires become even more acute, more important to accomplish. My life is rich and full, but I am so much more than my life.

I’m Not Your Babysitter Unless You’re Paying Me

At my daughter’s ball game tonight, a young boy, not yet two, was wandering around the field. I recognized him from practices, but didn’t know who he belonged to. He wandered into the dirt where the kids and coaches were warming up, dodging balls that flew precariously close to his small, unprotected head. Later he threw sand in a little girl’s eyes, who happened to be playing quietly near the bleachers with her family. He stared her down, then stomped on her fingers with his tiny, blue Nike.

The girl’s family and I couldn’t believe his parents hadn’t come to relieve us of their tiny terror. We discovered his mother a few moments later when she realized he’d ventured off towards a neighboring field where older kids were playing ball. She meandered over and coaxed him back to her seat. A few moments passed and he reappeared again, alone, and headed into the nearby woods. His dad was the one to chase him down this time. Mom was too busy playing on her smartphone. Read that last sentence again carefully.

What could have been more important than keeping track of her toddler at a baseball field? Was she updating her Facebook status? Checking her email? Playing Candy Crush? Texting her best friend? Blogging about what she ate for dinner? Who knows?! Who cares?! If you are going to bring your child to a public space, please be responsible enough to care about their safety and pay attention to them. If you haven’t seen your child for ten minutes, maybe it’s time you got off your butt and looked for them. Put down your damn phone and watch your kid so the rest of us don’t have to.

This Is Really Short and Sweet

This is what a post looks like when I have nothing to write about. Really, I’ve got nothing. Do three sentences count as a post? Okay, good. This makes five beautifully short, simple sentences. And just so this hasn’t been a total waste of your time, here’s something sweet to enjoy. (Seven sentences now. I’m on a roll!)